Owning Your Story
Why Reflecting on Your Life’s Journey Matters
We all have a story to tell.
If I were to tell the story of this photo, it might reveal that, according to Ancestry DNA, 30% of my ethnicity can be traced to Central Ireland, the Connacht Region, near North Leitrim County.
For years, I thought my roots were evenly distributed between my Italian father and Irish mother, who reasoned that my name should be "Kerry,” as in the county in Ireland, if I were going to have an Italian last name.
Twenty-four years later, I have a Jewish last name, thanks to my 32-year marriage to Rick. More than a name, who we are is comprised of our experiences, and like Sir Rod Stewart sang, every picture truly does tell a story.
This one was taken at Ladies View, on the Ring of Kerry, in 2018. My first trip to Ireland was years in the making. My daughter was a competive Irish Step Dancer - you can thank Riverdance for elevating this art to a cultural phenomenon - so Ireland was always top of mind. St. Patrick’s Days were spent not in just 1 pub or stage, but up to 10 in one day.
I’d dreamed of going to Ireland for years, and this drive along the Ring of Kerry, from our home base in Killarney, was like a gift. Black and white cows, the greenest hills, a brief mist before turning a corner to see the sun shine again, eating an entire large bowl of fresh mussels, and awestruck at the Cliffs of Moher.
I could write about this trip for days, and the one that followed in 2022 to Belfast, but the point I make in recounting this trip, a lifetime in the making, is that the power of reflection is inspiring.
Whether you’ve ever considered writing a book, journaling, or simply reflecting on the key moments that have shaped you, there’s something powerful about owning your story. It’s not just about the events that have happened to you—it’s about how those moments have influenced who you are today.
A year later, I was diagnosed with ovarian and uterine cancers. Thankfully, I completed treatment in 2020, and by 2021 our kids had the idea for a family project of sorts.
Our son had just graduated high school, and our daughter had been considering getting a tattoo. In fact, the two of them had discussed the idea of doing it together. All forms of sibling bonding exist, and while few people in our family have tattoos, it wasn’t something I was opposed to, Plus, they were over 18. I couldn’t stop it
They decided to get the crown, Jean-Michel Basquiat’s crown. Jordan majored in art history in college and was preparing to get her master’s in the subject. The Basquiat exhibit we happened upon in Rome in 2017, in a centuries-old church, was one of the highlights for Samuel, who does not enjoy looking at art in museums.
Their decision was made, but they implored Rick and I to get tattoos with them - a true family affair. Rick opted for solidarity with the kids and chose the crown. I wanted to get a tattoo, but it had to be something meaningful, not just shape, or God forbid, a butterfly. No offense to butterfly lovers. I marvel every time I see a monarch or swallowtail in the back yard, racing to grab my phone to catch it in flight.
I remembered a lunch with a friend, shortly after I’d begun chemotherapy treatments. She presented me with a triskelion stone from the Aran Islands. We hadn’t made it to that part of Ireland, where some of the Star Wars films were shot. Next time, we told ourselves. Robin explained that she’d given this stone on a thin leather rope to another friend who’d survived cancer. She wanted me to have it while I was undergoing treatment. Then I was to pass it along to someone else.
The resurfacing of that memory affirmed what I would have inked on the inside of my left ankle. The triskelion, derived from the Greek words, “tri,” meaning "three" and “skelos,’ meaning "leg,” symbolize life, death, and rebirth. The three arms of the triskelion can also represent spirit, mind, and body.
Undergoing cancer treatment, then recovery (which sometimes feels like it’s ongoing) required me to confront all of these, and employ the latter three. I’ll forever have this symbol, somewhat discreetly tucked away, but available to share, when I want to tell others about a part of me that has changed me forever.
When we take the time to reflect on our experiences, something magical happens: we begin to see patterns, discover truths we may have overlooked, and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. In fact, reflecting on your story can bring to light lessons, resilience, and growth you never realized were there. Sometimes, we’re so busy living our lives that we don’t stop to look back and celebrate how far we’ve come.
I remember when I first started reflecting on my life in a more intentional way. I didn’t initially set out to write a book; I just felt this pull to revisit the moments that defined me. As I began to explore my experiences, I realized there were so many untold stories buried beneath the surface. Stories of resilience, love, loss, and triumph. Stories I had lived through but hadn’t fully processed or celebrated.
And here’s the truth I discovered: Owning your story is an act of empowerment.
When you own your story, you acknowledge the full spectrum of your life—the highs and the lows. You start to celebrate the pivotal moments that shaped you into the person you are today. You understand that every experience, every challenge, and every triumph is part of the unique mosaic that makes you… you.
But owning your story isn’t just about self-reflection. Sometimes, sharing your story with others can inspire or comfort someone who’s walking a similar path. When we share our personal journeys—whether it’s with a close friend, a community, or even the world—it can spark connection and transformation, both for ourselves and those around us.
You don’t need to write a memoir to benefit from reflecting on your life’s journey. Maybe it’s as simple as journaling about the lessons you’ve learned. Or taking time each week to think about how far you’ve come. Or maybe it’s sharing a meaningful story with someone you trust.
So, I have a question for you: What’s your story?
What are the moments in your life that have shaped you? The ones that stand out when you think back? The ones that made you laugh, cry, or pushed you to grow in ways you never imagined?
I encourage you to take a moment today to reflect on your journey. You might just discover something new about yourself. And who knows—maybe those reflections will lead you to share your story with someone who needs to hear it. You never know the power of your words until you share them.
And if you’re curious about what might be holding you back from fully embracing or sharing your story, I’ve created a free quiz that could help you uncover those roadblocks and get inspired to move forward. It’s called “What’s Your Memoir Writing Roadblock?” but it’s really for anyone looking to better understand the challenges in owning and telling their story.
Take the quiz here: What Is Your Memoir Roadblock?
Remember: Your story is worth owning, celebrating, and sharing. You’ve lived a life that’s uniquely yours—now, it’s time to honor it.