Be good. Do good.
How to love a dog, then say goodbye
The date is embedded in my brain. Every activity, meeting, outing that is non-essential or already planned is measured against that date. I only have weeks until I have to say goodbye to another beautiful labrador.
We may love them, but someone needs them more than we do. I repeat the mantra, a reminder that she was never mine, but bred and born to lead and serve someone I’ve never met.
I’m not the author of this quote, but every Dogs Inc. puppy raiser can claim it as theirs. It’s what we tell ourselves when the days dwindle toward drop-off day. We repeat the words when dread mixes with excitement and the pit in our stomach won’t leave.
I remember the mission without future pacing too much but wonder about her destiny. Will she guide a visually impaired person and be the light in their darkened world? Or will she be the comfort and soft-landing spot for a veteran who suffers from PTSD? Might her DNA be so desirable that she is chosen as a Puppy Parent and give birth to future superheroes?
Explaining how I’m able to say goodbye, then start all over again, is a predictable exchange on outings to the allergist, dentist, coffee shop, store, restaurant, on neighborhood walks, and even at Christmas mass, where Skye met and posed with Santa Claus.
Dressed in her striking purple puppy-in-training vest, I begin the 10-minute masterclass, an attempt to share the how and why about puppy raising. The inquisition always includes these core questions:
· Can I pet her? No.
· Does she ever get to have fun and just be a dog? Yes.
· What is she being trained to do? Many roles – more on that below.
· What do you teach her? Sit, stay, come, down, close, and about 40 other cues.
· Where does she sleep? In her crate – and no it’s not cruel. Puppies in training love their space.
· Do you have to take her everywhere? No.
Then comes the crescendo: “But how do you give her up?”
I repeat, “We may love her, but someone needs her more than we do. I emphasize every word. Then, I cite examples of the impact that Jim, Eckerd, Reese, Sunshine, and Gigi have had on the lives of Sandra, Danny, Bill, Shameeka, and Sharon. These were dogs we raised that became guides. Some of the other dogs we raised chose other careers. Elvis was a beloved family pet until his December 2024 death at 14.5 years. Petey and Summit are also family pets. Hope is a Gold Star Family Dog who was given to 7-year-old Talon after his father died in Afghanistan when he was just 2 weeks old. Jake, Christie, and Irwin were medically career-changed (no failures ever!) and are also pets. Jake and Christie live with us, and Irwin helps “Keep Austin Weird” with our daughter in Texas.
Christie is also a Dogs Inc. Ambassador, which means we occasionally speak to community groups and organizations. I always talk first about the love we give that sets the foundation for a productive raiser-puppy relationship.
If you’re a parent, it can be easier to understand this idea of loving something so much only to one day let it go. Puppy raising is much the same. Like parenting, it’s natural to feel like you’re stumbling through the inevitable phases of puppyhood: barking, accidents, and mischief. New phases replace the ones you thought you’d never conquer, and then they’re teenagers, a sneak peek of the grownup puppy you worry about ruining as you try to shape them into a star student.
Here’s an insider tip: Just as there are no perfect parents and kids, there are certainly no perfect puppy raisers or puppies. We are the people who fall in love with the idea of helping someone we’ve never met.
Every time I receive an email with the IFT date, it’s like a sucker punch. Suddenly, time moves faster. Every outing is a “last” and sometimes a goodbye for the people in our community who’ve followed our pup’s progress. The nurses at the allergist’s office know her. Dr. K. always comes out to hug the pups before I’ve had a chance to remove their coats. Skye proudly poses for photos in her purple cap and gown at her last puppy club meeting. They know. They sense it in us, as much as we try not to let them see our emotions. Perceptive puppies they are, it’s as if they know the acronym: IFT.
Dogs Inc. provides trained Labrador Retrievers to people who need them free of charge, which is why fundraising is paramount. Most of the puppies acquire their names from donors who do so to honor someone. Puppy raisers can name a pup if they donate or raise $4000. Somehow in 2022, Rick and I raised enough to name Skye. We chose the name, which is attributed to people who exude calm, peacefulness, and an easygoing temperament, in memory of our 2022 trip to the Isle of Skye in Scotland.
Skye lived up to that description. One trainer described her as “gem.”
Like that easy first child that makes new parents feel like they’ve got it all figured out, Skye behaved perfectly on every outing. Chill, easy, and sweet most of the time, but she was the first pup we’ve raised who would “sing” for her breakfast each morning.
As the OG dogs of our household, Rick would feed Christie and Jake while I stumbled to the bathroom to put my contacts in. Skye had to learn to wait patiently until I could see what was in front of me. Then, she would be released from her crate and served her breakfast. Her insistence at being first subsided, and she learned to shorten her “singing” and wait patiently, which was only an extra 5 minutes.
Skye’s littermates’ raisers told me their pups also whined, I mean sang. She used this talent to garner extra snuggles every evening when she planted herself in front of me on the sofa. Her brown eyes focused on me; she would let out a little whine. I’d wait. She’d whine again. She knew she was irresistible, and I knew that like the times I held Jordan and Samuel long after they’d fallen asleep, that it would end before I was ready. Onto the floor I’d go, where I inched my back to the sofa, put my legs in a “v,” then invited Skye over.
Tranquil and majestic, she was, a sleeping puppy in my lap, just like her namesake, the Isle of Skye.
In Genesis 1:6-7, “sky” is Shamayim, which describes “the realm above the Earth, where the sun, moon, and stars live.” It's often translated as "heavens" or "the skies". In the biblical imagination, the shamayim was a solid, translucent dome that contained the atmosphere and the throne room of God.
God made no mistake in creating the dog. There’s a reason it’s God spelled backwards. Our time with them is brief, even when they are our pets, but they always make life better.
I hope that Skye is able return life to someone who lost their will to get out of bed, or fears walking in their own neighborhood because they worry about what might be around a corner. Whether she comforts or opens someone’s world to what sighted people take for granted, she will change someone’s life.
When Sandra told us, through the tears running down her face, that her “Mr. Jim” allows her to hold her head up when she walks versus looking down to tap her cane left, then right, we understand that she needed him more than we could ever love him.
The pull to repeatedly love a new dog for this purpose is what raisers call The Vortex. There are always more people whose lives deserve to be improved through a well-trained, loving dog.
American lecturer and humorist Josh Billings said: “If you’re lucky enough to love a dog, then you’re lucky enough,”
We’ve been more than lucky to have found this passion for raising guide and service dogs. Rick and I adopted our first labrador, Abby, in 1994. After Abby died in 2002, we loved Henry, Betsy, and Peppermint, all adopted from Labrador Retriever Rescue of Florida. Peppermint’s intake form stated that she didn’t get along with other dogs, yet by the time she died of old age at almost 15, she’d helped us raise Jim, Elvis, Eckerd, Reese, Petey, Summit, Hope, Sunshine, Christie, and Jake. Christie and Jake have continued Peppermint’s legacy by sharing their toys, attention, and love with Hannah, Irwin, Gigi, Freddie, and Skye.
In for Training Day is like ripping off a Band-Aid. Because I know the drill, I try to help others who are doing this for the first time see the full-circle moments that can happen. What keeps us coming back is the puppies, but it’s also the people.
Most of the people I know who love dogs are also great people. We didn’t volunteer to raise puppies so we could find new friends, but some of our best ones are those we met because we gave our time and love to a purpose bigger than ourselves.
Our puppy friends are like family, and like a big brood that supports each other, Skye’s return to campus was a happy reunion instead of the dreaded drop-off day. Her mama Stormy, and Puppy Parent Host (yes, that’s what they’re called) Trish led the welcome team that cheered our arrival with balloons, dogs, and homemade posters.
Littermates Joy, Rosie, Harbor, Malex, and Lily also returned. We were a scene – raisers and pups cajoling excited labradors while volunteers yelled, “puppy puppy puppy” while squeezing noise makers to get the dogs to pose for one decent photo.
Puppy raisers invest 12-15 months into teaching dozens of cues, house manners, and social skills, but for me, I’ve been reminded of the importance of humility, patience, perseverance, acceptance, and tenacity.
Soon, Skye will reveal her destiny to her trainers. She may choose to guide a visually impaired person, comfort a veteran, assist first responders, serve as a companion to a child who will someday need a guide, or be a Gold Star family pet for a child who lost a parent in military service.
As I removed her tartan collar and black leather leash, a Dogs Inc. volunteer placed a school-issued lead over her head, I hugged her goodbye and kissed her head one last time. Then, I repeated the other mantra we raisers tell our pups: Be Good. Do Good.
NOTE: Dogs Inc. relies solely on donations to support their mission and vision. All dogs provided to people who need them are done so free of charge. Dogs Inc. also supports recipients monetarily by subsidizing veterinary costs, and the costs associated with purchasing dog food and pet supplies. If this story moved you in any way, please consider a donation to my Dogs Inc. fundraising page. Your donation will support someone whose life will be changed by a dog.